People are quite surprised when I tell them I’m not dreaming about being published. For years now I have been that writing friend. The one who writes books, who has a degree in writing, and in recent years give classes on the subject.
What do I mean I don’t dream about publishing? What is the end goal with my writing then if I don’t particularly hope to see it published?
Here’s some context.
Over the past seven years my view of my future has been upended and changed more than once. Originally, I wanted to be a writer and then in the face of health problems that fell away. Instead, I wanted to become a psychologist. I studied that but ultimately realized that it’s not really for me either and instead changed direction to become a teacher.
In my town this story is kind of laughable. It’s practically expected that people who study teaching is simply people who failed their real dreams, and head on my story kind of looks like that.
‘Those who can’t do teach,’ ring in my ears when I tell people this story.
It’s ok. People can hold on to that opinion and I’m not going to argue with everyone who thinks that way. Let it be said here on my blog though, that I really love teaching. I have always loved teaching. Even while I was obsessed with writing as a teenager, I spent every afternoon helping children with their schoolwork. I’m honestly happy that life has been upended and brought me to this path.
So, I don’t really see my future as that of a writer. For my future to be that of a writer I imagine I must take this writing thing a lot more seriously. I would probably need to write more than my schedule allows, I’d need to stick to deadlines, and I’d have to at least kind of consider how I’d market myself as a writer. I don’t want to do these things.
So then why do I still write?
Why do I write if there’s no plans for people to read it one day.
My answer is very simple, I really love writing. I love the act of it. I love putting words on paper and seeing characters become people. I love feeling smart and creative even if the writing itself isn’t particularly good.
In this I’ve kind of developed a bit of a life philosophy.
I don’t believe I should be doing everything in my life with an invisible viewer looking over my shoulder. I don’t want to do everything with other people’s opinion in mind. This does not just go for writing of course – it goes for my piano practice, and my walking habits, my meals, and every other thing people have convinced me should go on social media to be turned into a career.
Now it must be said I don’t mind my friends dreaming of publication, we all want to end up doing something we love as a career. For me, that’s teaching. Maybe one day I will pursue publishing, but right now, writing is not a career decision. It’s simply something I like to do.
With all this said, I would like to know your opinions on the matter.
Are you writing with publication in mind? Do you have an invisible viewer? Do you mind it?
Enette Writes 