Life lesson #11

Don’t be afraid to get dirty.

There are some kinds of messes that are okay to get all over yourself.

For example at the end of a good day I normally have dirt on my feet, paint on my arms or pants, small handprints from little kids on my face and a smile on my lips.

These are the kinds of messes that I love to be covered in and I wish to tell you that it’s okay to not look perfectly clean if these are the sorts of things you’re covered in.

In fact I suggest you go search out days like that where you can get dirty and just enjoy it, instead of worrying about anything.

 

Life lesson #10

Before you simply pile food onto your plate remember to check how many people still need to get food.

This is just basic manners that I think is a good lesson to learn, especially if you’re an only child who’s not used to be restricted in this sense.

It’s good manners and quite frankly it keeps people happy because who wouldn’t be upset if someone else ate all the food before they even had a chance to get some?
I don’t know if this is the same everywhere but the specific foods I’ve experienced this should never happen with is:

Cheese, bacon, scrambled eggs and flapjacks.

 

Life lesson #9

The right lighting can lift your mood.

 

Use lighting to make yourself feel better.

Remember natural light is the best lighting so in the day time keep your curtains open so that some sunlight can come in. I also suggest getting some fairy lights for your room because they are honestly so wonderful when they come to boosting your mood.

 

Life Lesson #8

Ask a friend what bible verse you should read.

This is a great way to step into your bible if you are struggling to be motivated to read it, plus it really opens up a channel between you and your friend. Which I know sounds scary and it might not seem like something you would want to do but it’s so rewarding.

It will tell you so much about your friend and then for all you know you’ll find it to soon be one of your own favourites.

Life lesson #7

If you ever want small kids to like you stick out your tongue at them when their parents aren’t looking and then smile at them.

Pull funny faces at them without saying a word and when a parent looks to you pull a straight face and give a mock look of innocence.

Kids love this and it works 85 percent of the time to get them giggling.

6 steps to creating a routine that will shape your life

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So we all know what a routine is.

It’s getting up, eating breakfast, go to school/job, come home at five, dinner, sleep. Repeat.

That’s not what I’m discussing today though. Today I’m discussing a fundamental routine which is a term I made up just now – which is a very small and short routine that serves the purpose of bringing you closer to an end goal.

For example if you have the goal of writing a book in the next three months, then your fundamental routine can be to wake up an hour earlier during  the week days, make yourself a cup of coffee and write 1000 words every morning before starting your day.

 

I myself currently have a night routine that serves as a way to reach my end goal of healing my physical and mental health.

 

 

The reason I suggest you create a fundamental routine in your life is because it’s something that helps you pace out a large task into small accomplishable pieces. It also, through repetition, turns into a habit which will help you sustain positive changes in your life.

 

So I want to break down the process of creating one of these routines so that you yourself can use it as well. I know I normally only share writing advice on this blog with the occasional life lesson here and there but I decided that anyone who wants to achieve something can benefit from this advice. Even if they are a writer.

 

 

First step: What are your priorities?

To me it was a big thing to honestly reconsider my priorities and coming to the conclusion that my health need to be at the top. I am stubborn person who wanted to keep my writing at the top despite the fact that my physical and mental health have been keeping me away from writing since the beginning of this year.

So I asked myself, if I had all the time in the world what is the most pressing thing for me to do now?

The pressing thing for me was to re-establish some form of stability that no amount of pain can shake and which can heal me emotionally and be good for me physically.

So my priority became getting enough time with God as well as physical rest.

 

 

Step two: What is one thing you can consistently do to pursue your priorities?

If your priority is writing then you can write consistently.

If your priority is eating healthy you can consistently eat a good breakfast.

And if your priority is rest and healing then you can consistently pray and get a goodnight’s sleep.

 

So think about it. Write some ideas of what you can do down.

 

 

Step three: Determine when this routine will be taking place.

Ask yourself how often is it necessary to do this small action, for it to have an actual effect on your life.

Once a day? Twice a week? Once a week?

I decided that I need regular rest which to me means every day. I need to let my body and my mind rest and let go of tension every day. So I can start tomorrow fresh and with a relaxed body. (Stress causes my Pain to get worse)

 

Once you know how often you want to do it – ask yourself, what exact time (and day) will suit you best?

Some people I know wake up very early to read their bible – that works for them. Others I know will go jogging right after getting home from their job –because that’s their open slot.

So the trick is to know yourself and how your life generally plays out, and what your routine will require.

I can’t do mornings because I wake up very badly, there are a ton of distractions, and the cold of the morning makes my pain worse. So it’s better for me to take a moment to read my bible at night, when it’s quiet, and then get enough sleep – only waking up when it’s a little warmer outside. Plus if I unwind before bed the quality of my physical rest will be better which is ultimately what I’m aiming for.

 

 

Step four: Working out the details.

Simply saying that on Mondays you will be getting up early to jog can work but I believe that putting a couple of tiny objectives before the big one will help you reach that point in a unhurried and directed manner. Does that make sense?

 

This is very simple because it’s just saying that if I’m trying to achieve X I will have to do 1 2 3

For example: If I’m trying to achieve jogging every morning I will have to get up, get dressed, drink a glass of water and then I can go jogging.

Your sequence can be as celebrate or simple as you want it to be.

My wind down routine consists out of taking my meds, putting on my PJ’s, cleaning my face and teeth, making a hot water bottle and something warm to drink then getting into my bed so I can do some in-depth bible reading and pray in peace.

 

 

Step five: putting this all on a time table.

Alright so you don’t honestly have to go work out your routine by the minute but I think having a set time to start your routine will help you not forget about it. Then if you want you can go and decide in which order to do your small details.

I start my routine at 09:30 pm by drinking my meds and putting the kettle on boil.

From there off on I just go through the motions of preparing for bed in the order of getting dressed and brushing my teeth before getting back to the kettle to make my hot water bottle and warm drink.

 

You can also create a set end time for your routine so you know not to drag your actions out. I personally don’t because I end my night reading bible and if I spend an hour too long reading bible it will honestly do more good than harm.

 

 

So the last step will be to implement your routine.

Go for it. Do your routine with certainty instead of hesitancy and let it become a habit in your life. Each time that you go through your routine remember that you are laying down a block for the foundation that is your future – even if it is simply the near future.

 

So go be positive while I go take a little nap… I’ll write to you again soon.

Turning a life around

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I’m not going to write some big dramatic intro that explains that my back has been sore since February.

But to get you on the same page as me I’ll tell you that my back has been sore since February and that this has totally mucked up how I saw my next few years going. I’ve really been struggling with motivation lately and I had a couple of rough days these past couple of weeks when it seemed like my condition was getting worse again.

 

 

So there was a point a little more than a week ago when I was in a really bad place and I just didn’t want to deal with the pain any more – I basically just wanted to sleep and be left alone. But then my mum took me out of the house and we went for hot chocolate – which I have an obsession over.

I felt like I was breathing again and it just separated me from the pain and the struggle for a little bit  so when we go home I was in a much better mood. I was sitting in my parent’s room next to their bookshelf with all our Christian books in. I picked up a book called ‘Communion with God’ and I started reading it.

The book is like a guide to praying (and I definitely recommend it) and I started applying it to my life.

That next weekend I basically just prayed for three days long all the way from Friday morning to Sunday night. I got a chance to talk to God and listen to Him and it healed a lot of my frustrations and made me peaceful again.

 

 

Now I’ve been planning to change my life in a major way but I just haven’t had the strength to do it. And every time I tried to make major changes in my life, I would just get exhausted and fall back into the pattern that my pain created. I would wake up and push myself out of bed despite being cold and sore. I’d drink water and look over my homework. I’d feel exhausted and overwhelmed and then just get back to bed.

 

It seemed really pathetic to me because I use to be, and still am, the kind of person who simply doesn’t stop working. My old mindset was that I can use sheer will power to get through anything but these days if I sit longer than say an hour my back starts to hurt very intensely and I can barely do anything except lie down.

So how I explain this to myself now is that life is like a video game where I get a certain number of energy points at the beginning of each day. Normally I could use these energy points on things such as school work and my job and my writing and then still have a little bit of energy points left at the end of the day.

Now those same amounts of energy points have to be distributed between more things. Now I get to spend some energy points on my school work but while I’m doing that I also use energy points to fight the pain. So throughout the day simply dealing with the pain steals a lot of my energy points.

So I can no longer do everything that I use to do because my energy points run out before the end of the day. Make sense?

 

 

Now back to me changing my life in a major way.

So after I realised that my old mindset and habits won’t be able to get me out of the pain I realized that I need to shift priorities.

I used to have writing as my top priority and then school and then my job and then my Christian walk and then my relationships and then at the complete bottom of the list my physical health and mental well being.

You’d think I’d change all that early after hurting my back but of course as a human I strongly protest against any change.

 

So here I am after a weekend of intense praying and I realise that my priorities need to look different.

Number one should be my relationship with God, and then number two should be my physical health.

The rest of the stuff is important too. But they can no longer come first because if I put all the work first then there will be no energy points left to keep my body and my mind intact. And if I don’t take care of my body, my condition will get worse.

 

 

Once I changed my priorities I also acknowledged that I can’t make any massive changes right now. As much as I would love to wake up tomorrow with a different body that doesn’t hurt and a set of life goals that I can work towards without a problem – that’s not my reality right now.

Right now I’ve got a sore body and a messed up head. I have a job and homework that I’m really far behind on and I’ve got three half finished writing ideas.

So if I can’t make that huge change in my life overnight I guess I’ll have to start with small changes.

 

Which is why on Monday night I drafted up a 30 minute routine that I decided will be the base of my life from here off on. It’s not something that will use a ton of my energy points but it consists out of things that will give me more energy points and ultimately have a real impact on my life.

 

I have an alarm that goes off on my phone and when I hear it I go to drink all my medications. I put on pyjamas, wash my face, make myself hot chocolate and a hot water bottle (a must for anyone struggling with pain) then get into bed and read bible.

All this takes me between half an hour and an hour, depending on what bible verses I’m reading. But at the end of it I’ve wholly relaxed myself and then I get a good night’s sleep before I get up in the morning to do some light exercise.

 

It’s a very simple thing to arrange a 30 minute routine but since I started doing this I’ve been waking up better. I’ve felt happier again. I’ve felt more connected to God and I pray a lot more now.

The biggest thing though is that when I shifted my priorities I stopped beating myself up for any work that I couldn’t finish. I decided to work slowly and to take proper breaks so I don’t strain myself. And this nightly routine is the perfect time for me to accept what I’ve accomplished during the day and to celebrate it – while also letting go of the negative feelings I have over what I didn’t accomplish.

 

I’m more relaxed and at ease and I honestly feel like even though I can’t make any big changes any more, that this small step is a major victory for me.

 

 

That’s my life right now. I’ll tell more another time but for this moment I can simply finish off by saying I’m feeling positive and I hope you are too – in whatever it is you’re busy dealing with.

I wrote a post that is a guide for creating a short routine, so you can go take a look at that and maybe implement the idea into your own life.

So keep moving forward and I’ll write to you again on Friday.