A make up post – and a pity post

 

 

Okay so I missed yesterday’s life lesson post so here is a bit of a makeup post. It’s like a makeup kiss but very possibly more intimate.

Now yesterday was by all means a successful day.
I woke up early with the sun and went to get some exercise in at my Pilates class.
Pilates I find is a lot of fun, and it actually manages to push my unused muscles despite it being slow exercise. I’m the youngest member in my class with everyone else being older than my mother but I have to go. I have to go because this is the exercise that my doctors and physiotherapists said I need to do to help get rid of my chronic lower back pain.
Which as a teenager is a really weird thing to explain to people.

 

I then got to spend hours on writing and I spent it well. My story high queen has been stuck. I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I kept trying to start it and then not manage to write anything that really works. To me this is important because if I don’t like my own story then why would anyone else?
So I went and I pulled the story planning apart and looked at what it is that was bothering me and I fixed it. Now I’m feeling much more connected to my characters.

Then I went to the main event of yesterday which was a talent contest. I had about a week to prepare and my mum made me a dress.
These are my one entry…

I feel really proud of my performances. In the second one my microphone died because of flat batteries and I feel proud of how I handled that.

Then I finished off my day by going to my small group. I went there and I got to tease my boyfriend a little.
Then I got home, took a bath, and went to bed.
Good day right?

 

Today we got the results for the contest and well I did not win.
I wasn’t second or even third… I didn’t place among the winners this year (I was second last year)
So now I’m sitting in my room drinking a pity can of coke and hoping that no one who passes my open door notices that my eyes are red with crying. I messaged the news to my friend – she hasn’t responded yet. I haven’t messaged my boyfriend yet because I’m not yet ready for someone to tell me that it’s okay that I didn’t win.

I know that’s not why I participated. I participated because I love singing and my mum loves hearing me sing. I participated because last year was fun. But you know what? I at least hoped that I would place.
I feel like I needed to at least place.

I’m not going pretend that this is the best year of my life and after three months of not managing to achieve anything I really wanted win at something. Singing has been the first thing I’ve truly attempted since hurting my back and I wanted to just break away from this period in my life where I’m stuck.

I considered ranting a bit more about how I feel and share that I think it was unfair to make me compete with grownups. I feel like I could complain how one of the winners just repeated the same act as the previous year while I had to learn a whole new song on short notice. I could be mad at myself for not practicing more but I’m not sure that would have helped anyway.

I’m not going to spill everything that has been leaving me feeling hollow though because if I do that I’ll just be frustrated with myself for not being able to suck it up and get myself going again.
After all I have to take ownership of my life and after three months of complaining I’m really getting tired of my own nonsense.

So that’s it. That’s my makeup post… I know it doesn’t really make up for anything and now I realize I have no idea how to end it off.
I’m just going to stop typing now…

Really random order of business.

I’ve designed three kinds of posters this will go with each of my blog posts.

They are to help you understand what kind of post you can expect before even reading it. (It also solves the fact that I’m too lazy to create an individual graphic for each post)

They look as follow, and I’m absolute in love with them.

These are also the first step to giving this mash up blog some semblance of order.

What do you think of them? They’re pretty right?

 

 

 

 

Untitled design(2)Untitled designUntitled design(1)

Reintroduction because I have been missing :)

I know I haven’t been very active on this blog lately. I’ve been so inactive in fact that I wouldn’t be surprised if you forgot about me. While I am hoping to start making up for it soon I figured that I might as well mark my return by doing a new introduction. (Especially for all my new followers)

Okay, so what is there to say about me?
I am an introvert, I write books and I can’t function without tea in the morning.

I am a teenager, a middle child and a homeschooler.

I am surrounded by two sibling who I love, amazing parents and a wonderful boyfriend. My friends can be found in all kinds of odd places – like book stores and churches. I can honestly mean it when I say I appreciate all of these wonderful people 100%.

This is the part where I have to choose between telling you about my life growing up and my life in the future. I think that while my past help create me, my future is what this blog is about. This blog is about my future and how I create it.

I want to be a published, and successful, author. I’m not always sure how I am going to reach that goal but I believe I will. I might also go study to become a special education teacher when I’m done with high school– I am not sure about that exactly, but it’s time I start thinking about it and I know this is something I can be passionate about. So it’s definitely being considered.

I like to think of myself as a vivacious young woman who can shape her own life to her liking. I guess that is another thing this blog is about.

I can’t exactly think of anything else to put here and I guess that sums me up pretty well… I forgot to plan this post before creating it – which is something I guess I should work on.

I hope that this gave you some insights into me and this blog because that’s what this post was about… I guess.
Unless of course there is a secret reason for writing all this!
What could it possibly be?

My secret reason for writing all this is to say welcome to all my followers, both old ones and new ones. I know I haven’t been active lately and I’m really sorry about that but I plan to turn things around again.
So thank you for reading my ramblings and liking the advice I share on here. I really appreciate all your support.

A solution for the writer with back pain!

Okay guys, this is going to be my first ever spoken blog post.
I am currently using a new program my dad installed for me which translates what I’m saying into text.
Currently it is slow going, because the program struggling to understand my accent. I am slowly starting to get the hang of it though.
The whole point of doing this is so I can continue on creating stories and blog posts while I am lying down on my bed. My back pain is getting better but I still can’t sit upright for very long. This I think will be a useful solution with a little practice.

Okay, now that I’ve explained this I’m going to finish this post. You can expect more posts soon.
Cross your fingers – and let us hope this works.

Enette’s journey: step one – gathering my people

I’ve recently joined this writer’s workshop called “the young writer’s workshop” (budum tish) and through this I’ve been exposed to a lot of writer’s success stories.

One after the other they are talking about how exactly they managed to reach the end goal and start living the dream. It’s really opened my eyes to a lot of steps I need to take with this writing and so I’m really looking forward to the next few weeks in which I’ll take those steps toward reaching my end goal.

 

 

This past week though I’ve started to realize that a key aspect that many people forget to actually mention is the support that writers receive.

I’m not talking just moral support or just fans for their writing but a little bit of both.

 

Writing is often seen as this really solitary job, where you just sit behind a closed door and not let anyone in. Ask my family, I’ve written four novels and I’ve let them read three chapters in total…

That’s not how it should be though, we as people aren’t made to simply be alone. We were made for real relationships between one another and I think this applies in a healthy writing career as well.

So my first step, without any explanation further, is to gather up people – people who through one way or another are willing to support me and my work.

I guess I’ll have to start by letting my family read my stuff…

 

(Sorry if this post is a mess, I’m rather tired today)

4 weeks to go to my exams

I just spent a great weekend away with some great friends, and I’m planning on putting up photos when I get the chance. Right now though, I’m eager for the week ahead of me and I actually think I might come up with a post for next week, but I’m making no promises, as I have lots of English and math prep to do for my exams.
In the mean time, I feel the need to let you know that I’m writing short stories to keep the muse going for the time being; just 200 words a day, and if you write I suggest you do the same because that way the writing muscle will be ready by November, when I’m hoping you participate in NaNoWriMo, like I will be doing. On that note this week also includes another write in for my writing group and we’re going to be joined by a new member who happens to be a script writer so I’m looking forward to that.

I know that I’ve been giving half hearted content these days but I plan on making up for it next year, for which I’m already planning posts.

That reminds me to run an idea by you really fast, I’ve been thinking about giving writing courses next year, just a simple email course that won’t cost you anything and give you some basic skills in planning a novel. What do you think? Does it sound like something I can give a try or am I wasting my time with the thought?
I’ll bring it up again later as we near 2017 but right now just tell me what you think.

Good luck with your week 🙂

 

8 am and feeling grim

grim

I have a new week lying at my feet (8 am Monday morning) and it’s already looking a little grim.

Why?

Because I don’t have a good, well thought out blog post to give that consists out of 1000+ words.

I didn’t write one and I feel that if I try to explain why it will sound like I’m making excuses, which is something my piano teacher hates. I don’t have a proper excuse anyway, there was time, I just used it selfishly and read a book instead.

 

I’m regretting it now that I’m hastily writing this post. I have school work that needs to be done and I’m not supposed to write blog posts until I’ve done my work.

Today’s school work consists out of math and English with maybe just a hint of art.

Tomorrow it’s more maths and definitely some Art.

Whatever order I do my homework in there will always be more. I have six weeks to finish my year’s work before exams, and I actually need to get good grades. Great grades even, if you know my personal standards.

I’m sorry for ranting about my homework I know it’s not really relevant to my blog, except that it makes me feel tired and bad about myself which leads to days like today where I can’t even think up an idea for blog post other than ranting.

I was actually supposed to write a book review or something but I just don’t feel it today, the cloud of gloom hanging around my head is just a little too thick for me to cheerfully point out what I loved about the book I recently read.

 

I don’t mean to sound so depressing, just like I don’t mean to work on my parent’s nerves by being behind in my school subjects. I don’t mean to be complaining, and I really don’t mean to sound like someone who can’t handle her own stuff.

I just sort of wish that I could write a proper blog post for today.

 

 

You know what I really want?

I want a month away to the beach (my hair doesn’t frizz)

I want to tie one of those soft beach cloths around my waist and walk over warm sand with my bare feet. I want to take a fold out chair and sit beneath a tree with a book or perhaps simply run into the cold water and dive beneath the waves.

I want to go on adventures with my camera and take a trip to the book store.

I want to sit with a notebook on my lap and simply write down silly stories with a ball point pen.

I want the whole experience which is the sound of crashing waves, and the smell of salt mixed with the smell of books. I want to look at monkeys as they run past and deer as they peek out from between the banana trees.

I want my freckles, which have been hiding for the winter, to come back and spread all over my nose to my cheeks and forehead. I want my hair to get those golden stripes back and I want my back to tan.

 

I miss the beach okay?

 

For the moment I need to stop fantasising and get back to work.

I need to sit behind my rather large desk and practise Pythagoras theorem until my back is sore and my eyes completely dried.

 

I can do it of course, it’s no big deal. Nothing that others haven’t done before, and nothing I haven’t done before.

So I’ll sit and work as hard as I can. Math today Art tomorrow and English the day after that. I will practice my piano piece and try my best to not miss another lesson before my recital. I’ll help my cousin practice for his tests and we’ll get his grade up again, he’s yet another person aiming for 100% even though he’s only in second grade.

I’ll finish a proper blog post for next week and arrange my next write in. That reminds me that I need to email someone who wants to join the group.

I need to practice punctuation and spelling before seeing my English tutor again. I need to pick out photos to print for my art coursework. I need to get my tempo and speed for my piano piece just right.

There are so many things that I need to do, and I will do it all, and then I will do it all again next week and the week after that. For the next six weeks I’ll work my butt off and after that I’ll study for exams until my fingers cramp and arrange for my writing group to be ready for NaNoWriMo.

 

Here’s a hint of good news though. When I’m done with all of this, which is in three months, my family is going on a short trip. One week to the beach, with my dad’s personal CD playing in the car and probably something like meat rolls for road trip food.

 

My week still looks a little grim to me but I’ll keep my head high and work like I have taught myself to. I’m at least hanging out with friends one time this week to catch Pokémon and I’m going to dancing lessons with my boyfriend later today which should be fun now that neither of us is sick.

 

I’m sorry for ranting and being slightly depressing, but I’m feeling much better now that I’ve written all of this. I plan to give a proper post next week, so hang on for me till then. If you are looking at the week before you and feel like sighing, tell me about it.