8 am and feeling grim

grim

I have a new week lying at my feet (8 am Monday morning) and it’s already looking a little grim.

Why?

Because I don’t have a good, well thought out blog post to give that consists out of 1000+ words.

I didn’t write one and I feel that if I try to explain why it will sound like I’m making excuses, which is something my piano teacher hates. I don’t have a proper excuse anyway, there was time, I just used it selfishly and read a book instead.

 

I’m regretting it now that I’m hastily writing this post. I have school work that needs to be done and I’m not supposed to write blog posts until I’ve done my work.

Today’s school work consists out of math and English with maybe just a hint of art.

Tomorrow it’s more maths and definitely some Art.

Whatever order I do my homework in there will always be more. I have six weeks to finish my year’s work before exams, and I actually need to get good grades. Great grades even, if you know my personal standards.

I’m sorry for ranting about my homework I know it’s not really relevant to my blog, except that it makes me feel tired and bad about myself which leads to days like today where I can’t even think up an idea for blog post other than ranting.

I was actually supposed to write a book review or something but I just don’t feel it today, the cloud of gloom hanging around my head is just a little too thick for me to cheerfully point out what I loved about the book I recently read.

 

I don’t mean to sound so depressing, just like I don’t mean to work on my parent’s nerves by being behind in my school subjects. I don’t mean to be complaining, and I really don’t mean to sound like someone who can’t handle her own stuff.

I just sort of wish that I could write a proper blog post for today.

 

 

You know what I really want?

I want a month away to the beach (my hair doesn’t frizz)

I want to tie one of those soft beach cloths around my waist and walk over warm sand with my bare feet. I want to take a fold out chair and sit beneath a tree with a book or perhaps simply run into the cold water and dive beneath the waves.

I want to go on adventures with my camera and take a trip to the book store.

I want to sit with a notebook on my lap and simply write down silly stories with a ball point pen.

I want the whole experience which is the sound of crashing waves, and the smell of salt mixed with the smell of books. I want to look at monkeys as they run past and deer as they peek out from between the banana trees.

I want my freckles, which have been hiding for the winter, to come back and spread all over my nose to my cheeks and forehead. I want my hair to get those golden stripes back and I want my back to tan.

 

I miss the beach okay?

 

For the moment I need to stop fantasising and get back to work.

I need to sit behind my rather large desk and practise Pythagoras theorem until my back is sore and my eyes completely dried.

 

I can do it of course, it’s no big deal. Nothing that others haven’t done before, and nothing I haven’t done before.

So I’ll sit and work as hard as I can. Math today Art tomorrow and English the day after that. I will practice my piano piece and try my best to not miss another lesson before my recital. I’ll help my cousin practice for his tests and we’ll get his grade up again, he’s yet another person aiming for 100% even though he’s only in second grade.

I’ll finish a proper blog post for next week and arrange my next write in. That reminds me that I need to email someone who wants to join the group.

I need to practice punctuation and spelling before seeing my English tutor again. I need to pick out photos to print for my art coursework. I need to get my tempo and speed for my piano piece just right.

There are so many things that I need to do, and I will do it all, and then I will do it all again next week and the week after that. For the next six weeks I’ll work my butt off and after that I’ll study for exams until my fingers cramp and arrange for my writing group to be ready for NaNoWriMo.

 

Here’s a hint of good news though. When I’m done with all of this, which is in three months, my family is going on a short trip. One week to the beach, with my dad’s personal CD playing in the car and probably something like meat rolls for road trip food.

 

My week still looks a little grim to me but I’ll keep my head high and work like I have taught myself to. I’m at least hanging out with friends one time this week to catch Pokémon and I’m going to dancing lessons with my boyfriend later today which should be fun now that neither of us is sick.

 

I’m sorry for ranting and being slightly depressing, but I’m feeling much better now that I’ve written all of this. I plan to give a proper post next week, so hang on for me till then. If you are looking at the week before you and feel like sighing, tell me about it.

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