A writer’s anxieties.

This is what just happened. I was busy writing something amazing, a blog post that could have changed lives…
So why aren’t you reading that blog post? You aren’t reading that blog post because I deleted it.
My dad just came into my room and reminded me that I have math homework to do as if I don’t know that. My breath caught in my chest and my fingers went numb, not because I’m afraid of doing math or anything just because the same anxiety that been sitting on my shoulders for weeks took effect again. Every time I do math I have anxiety because I’m neglecting this blog and every time I sit down to write something I have anxiety because I really don’t want to waste another weekend on math or get another lecture from a parent on how I should be more productive.
You see, you could have had a life changing post but it is now gone because I just can muster up the strength to write it. Typing this bland post is already making me feel as if I’m being dragged through the mud and as if something heavy has been laid onto my chest.

Now that I told you about my anxieties in a less than grand way I will tell you about my plan for the next few weeks in the same manner.
I’ve told you guys plan after plan I have for this blog in the past few weeks and none of these plans have materialized and really worked, so why would this plan be different? Truth is I have very little faith in this plan of mine and it will probably be useless but I really need something to keep me writing at the moment so I’m going to try it anyway.

The plan.

I’m going to be writing a post series on overcoming anxiety and being productive, the two things I’m proving bad at right now.
I’m sure you can see why this plan is flawed and there is very little hope for it to make it to a second post, but I’m going to try anyway.

 

Why this plan? Who knows, perhaps by writing it all down I can get my work life back in order.
I’m going to be leaving you with this and say sorry for the rather pathetic post. Hopefully I will get my strength back again tonight and type out a better post for next week.
As always don’t be afraid to comment, and I hope that later on I will be helpful to you again.

5 thoughts on “A writer’s anxieties.

  1. Ayliesha Harris

    Trust me, I know the feeling, Enette. Like, a little too well. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is distance yourself, as scary as that may be. At some point, we have to stop valuing ourselves on the opinions of others and the world around us, and realize that we are so much more than a test score or a bad review, you know? That’s something I struggled with for a very long time, but I reached a point where I stopped questioning myself. And I believe in you, and believe you’ll figure this all out, in your own way. Never be afraid to vent when you need to, but also never be afraid to take time for yourself if you need it. We can wait here if you need us to.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Your post is a breath of fresh of air. I love your honest writing style. Maybe I can help you.

    First, writing about overcoming anxiety and being productive is not much fun. It seems to me that what you are good at writing is what is going on in your life at that moment. Pick something from your day, no matter how small, and write about it as honestly as you have done here. Write about things that make you mad, sad and happy. Write about things that are fun. Use the daily prompt if you can’t find anything else. I like to read your take on them.

    As far as staying productive, schedule time to do your home work, chores, and write this blog. That way you are not stealing from one to do the other. Don’t get crazy with it. 20 minutes is enough.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s